Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Cold Monster

Just like the cold wind outside, it hit hard inside me. Why people are so mean? Why people tend to boss around? Come hell, she don't even have the right. I am the lead person. I have the right to set things I would want. Can she do her own thing? She didn't even know what she's talking about.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

To the man I love

My dearest,

I wish you can make up your mind with the plan we'll be threading for the next months. It was really hard for me to plan things in my mind and dream about everything and then you will be telling me that the plan will be changed?(Knowing you are the kind of person who do not have any plan -- I never thought that you will be that kind.)

I really felt bad. Truly, I am. But what shall I do? I can't be mad at you. If I don't love you that much, I have been so angry.

If it will be a civil wedding then go ahead..if it will be a church wedding, so let it be..But decide what will be. I was thinking we had finalized that it will be a church wedding so that we can save money for our new home. But now you have changed your mind knowing that your mom can help you with the finance at this time because of the non-availability of funds.

So whatever you have decided, please let me know and please be it final. I have waited for a year for the wedding and even you have given the dates before. You were then the most excited. Now, that things were sinked in my mind, I was hoping for things to came to reality.

Whatever it is, please please be sure before you tell me. I hate waiting. I hate crying. I hate fighting. I love you so much that I can't even imagine the worst to come within us.

Hoping for reality to sink in,

your dearest

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Taking the Grammar Out of the Kiss

"A kiss can be a comma, a question mark or
an explanation point. That's basic spelling
that every woman ought to know."
-Mistinguett in Theatre Arts

Your kiss was like a question mark,
she said, & my lips were giving you
the answer. That was why I got mad
when you pulled away. I needed
to kiss you again to get a reprise.

=Poem by Hal Sirowitz, from his book Before, During & After

Fable of the Mermaid and the Drunks

All those men were there inside,

when she came in totally naked.
They had been drinking: they began to spit.
Newly come from the river, she knew nothing.
She was a mermaid who had lost her way.
The insults flowed down her gleaming flesh.
Obscenities drowned her golden breasts.
Not knowing tears, she did not weep tears.
Not knowing clothes, she did not have clothes.
They blackened her with burnt corks and cigarette stubs,
and rolled around laughing on the tavern floor.
She did not speak because she had no speech.
Her eyes were the colour of distant love,
her twin arms were made of white topaz.
Her lips moved, silent, in a coral light,
and suddenly she went out by that door.
Entering the river she was cleaned,
shining like a white stone in the rain,
and without looking back she swam again
swam towards emptiness, swam towards death.

Pablo Neruda

Clenched Soul

We have lost even this twilight.
No one saw us this evening hand in hand
while the blue night dropped on the world.

I have seen from my window
the fiesta of sunset in the distant mountain tops.

Sometimes a piece of sun
burned like a coin in my hand.

I remembered you with my soul clenched
in that sadness of mine that you know.

Where were you then?
Who else was there?
Saying what?
Why will the whole of love come on me suddenly
when I am sad and feel you are far away?

The book fell that always closed at twilight
and my blue sweater rolled like a hurt dog at my feet.

Always, always you recede through the evenings
toward the twilight erasing statues.

Pablo Neruda